My 2020 Thus far...

 I know that the year 2020 has been rough for everyone. I also know that my story is small in comparison to what others have been through. However I feel like I need to get this out of my head and hopefully it can help me process.

On New Years Eve of 2019 my ex boyfriend was sick. New Years day he went to work but felt so sick and was so out  of it that he clocked out and drove home. Upon arriving there, his dad immediately took him to stat care because he was in such bad condition. Stat care sent him to the ER immediately and from there, they put him into a medically induced coma. they treated him for what they thought was pneumonia. but after 2 weeks of him not getting better, actually getting worse and starting to go into multi-system organ failure, they transferred him to Summa Health in Akron. There they did everything they could think of to make him better. He was on a dialysis machine for the whole month of January. He had ups and downs. Good days where we thought he was going to recover, and bad days where we feared the worse. everyone in town was devastated when they unplugged him from life support and he passed away at the end of the month. We had a benefit night for him on his birthday in February and raised a bunch of money to help pay for funeral costs and medical bills.

In February, another close friend from the local bar passed away. He name was Dawn and she was a really cool lady. She had been having heart problems previously and had recently survived heart surgery. I never heard what she died from.

In march, the whole world was brought to its knees. COVID-19 hit the United States and Ohio's Governor shut down the economy. Essential workers only were allowed to leave their homes. Restaurants were only allowed to have carry out or delivery. I was laid off. for 9 weeks. Thankfully my husband was able to continue to work every day.

In April my grandfather passed away in a nursing home. Not from the coronavirus, but because of the coronavirus. All nursing homes were on a lock down quarantine so no one was allowed to visit him. this made him more irritable and eventually developed a cold which he didn't recover from. I believe he gave up because he thought his family gave up on him.

In May, I was diagnosed with stage 4 pre-cancerous cells in my uterus. This was making it impossible for my husband and I to conceive. Since then I have been on a high dose of medication in the hopes to reverse it back to normal. 

June was starting to look up a bit. The restaurants were allowed to seat people again and we got to go out to dinner for my husbands birthday!! But like all things this year, it had to smack us back down. My car broke for good this time and all of the money we had been able to save up during the pandemic had to be spent on a down payment for a new vehicle. I am so happy to have an SUV now, but it wasn't in our plans for sure. 

July moved steadily along until the 9th when our air conditioner broke and we had to move in with my parents until the 30th when it got fixed. during that time I had my surgery to re biopsy my uterus to see if the treatment had worked. Just before my surgery, my high school best friend passed away. It was a beautiful funeral albeit emotional. 

Now it is August and today I got my surgery results back. Not what I was hoping for. the pre-cancer is still there only it is stage 3 now. So my doctor is sending my to an oncologist to get further, stronger treatment. I'm not sure what to expect but I hope it is successful.

September I will be 35. at the end of the month my dad is having hip replacement surgery.

I imagine in October i will have to have another biopsy surgery.

Some days it is really hard to stay positive. Sometimes I just want to lie in bed, curled up, and crying. But I can't give in to everything that the world has thrown at me this year. I will persevere.